July 25, 2025 (Feast of St. James, Apostle)

How much do I believe? If I TRULY (100%) believe God IS GOD of all, and EVERYTHING in the gospel is true, how can I balance life’s goals and intentions with the demands of the world? How can I make everything I do, be for God and not my own earthly gain and that of my family? It seems I would be able to do nothing for monetary reward as I would merely be giving my time and efforts to help and show love to others, without earthly reward; how would there be time to do anything else? Is it just a matter of justifying my regular daily efforts and finding a rationale for doing what I do for the people and Kingdom of God?

Abraham was charged to sacrifice his only son Isaac to demonstrate his commitment and love to God. Would I be willing and able to sacrifice my child, or my wife, at God’s command? What would it take for me to believe it was actually God’s will to do something so against my conscience. How would God speak to me so convincingly that I would be willing to do ANYTHING for Him? I think I am pretty committed to God, yet I have limitations and a reticence I cannot overcome. Is this human nature, or Satan’s influence (what is the connection here?… for another day)?

Mary was charged to become pregnant out of wedlock, as a teenager (probably completely ruining her reputation and possibly wrecking her entire future). What absolute faith she demonstrated in her willingness to suffer her earthly trials to demonstrate her love and commitment to the Lord! Even under the best of circumstances it could not have looked as if her life would be easier or better after this pregnancy. Would I be able to make a comparable decision? How is it that these people heard so clearly the voice of God and knew with absolute surety God’s will and intention for them? I think I hear God’s voice in my head, but have never heard out loud the voice of God, and seen the face of God, telling me His will and intention. The mother of Sts. John and James believed so completely, that she requested her sons sit at Jesus’ right and left hands in the Kingdom – at the price of sharing in Christ’s suffering and death (James, of course, would be the first of the martyred apostles). Do I believe so wholeheartedly that I am willing to do anything for my God, or am I just comforted by the stories and the idea of the Gospel and an all-loving, forgiving God who will never turn away from me? What am I willing to give back to show my eternal and unconditional love for my God?

God forgive me for my weakness and my lack of faith!

-Christ’s peace!